


Where Simon asks a girl an important question and Baz is clueless

by GayAsDumbledore



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie
Genre: Gay Character, Lesbian Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayAsDumbledore/pseuds/GayAsDumbledore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon asks a girl an important question and is so adorably embarrassed by it. Aw. I love my simon baby. Plus Trixie the pixie because her role in Carry On was wayyyy to small and I think I just need a book about her life. Now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Simon asks a girl an important question and Baz is clueless

**Author's Note:**

> As promised: another oneshot I actually wrote some time ago!
> 
> I hope you like this one as much as I do. This thing has been in my head for so long now and I couldn't trust anyone else with it so I wrote it myself. I'm sorry if this sucks, but it's written from my point of view. By that i mean how I see the characters (who belong to the one and only Rainbow Rowell btw) and how I describe them.   
> Guys, do me a favour and write Trixie fanfiction. I need more of Trixie and her girlfriend.
> 
> As always: I apologize for grammar or spelling mistakes!

Simon

I really don't have a clue why I'm doing this. I mean, I don't even need to do this! There's no problem with me, really, I just… I feel like I need to get this off my chest.

When I arrive at the Cloisters, I am more self-concious than ever before. What if she's going to laugh at me?!   
Well, I guess that's the risk.   
I knock on the door and wait, a bit impatient, because my heart is beating so loud you could probably hear it up in my room.   
Maybe Baz does. He's a vampire after all.  
When the door opens, I jump slightly because I've been so lost in my thoughts that I forgot all about why I'm here. The light gleams from behind her and makes her look like an angel. All glowing. Her blond hair is a bit wet and wavy, like she's just showered. I'm gaping like a fish because I don't know how to start, now that I'm here.  
„Simon?“ she asks curiously.

 

„Umm… hi Trixie!“  
She smiles a lopsided smile.  
„Hey! Penelope's not here, I actually don't know where she is soo...“, she shrugs.  
„Oh, no, I'm not here because of Penny! I came because I need your help.“ A deep red flush is colouring my face. I'm embarrassed, really.   
Trixie is watching me with interest.  
„How curious… Simon Snow needs my help?“  
She isn't teasing or being mean, she's just being Trixie. That's how she does stuff.  
I shrug awkwardly.  
„Yeah, I-uh.. I just wanted.. It's because..“   
I don't know how to start.

Trixie smiles at me symphatically.  
„Sit down Simon. Make yourself comfortable!“ she waves around the room with her hand.   
I sit down on a chair stifly while Trixie lays down on her bed. It's full of pixie dust, which looks wicked to be honest.  
„Now, concentrate and breath calmly Simon. The words will come out eventually, you don't need to hurry.“, she says softly and I feel a bit less nervous already. She really is very kind.  
„Okay.“, I take a deep breath.  
„I-I wondered if you could, erm, if you could tell me how you… I mean how you figured out that you're..“, I stop because I can't make myself actually say it.  
„That I'm what, huh?“  
„That you're.. you know, uh, gay.“  
Her eyes widen and she slowly starts to grin like a maniac.

There's a brief silence before I softly nudge her and ask slowly: „Uhh..Trixie? You alright?“  
She snaps out of her trance and thinks about my question, not without shooting me an strange look.  
„Umm… I don't really know anymore, it's been so long. But once I kissed a guy and noticed that this just wasn't my cup of tea.“

I sigh, because that's not an option for me. Agatha won't kiss me because we're not together anymore and I just can't kiss Penny… she's like my sister! Even though I kissed Agatha like 3 or 4 times, I can't really remember how it was. We didn't kiss for a long time now, mostly because Agatha came out as asexual. That means that she has no desire to have physical contact with anybody. Not even Baz. (Which was a relieve to me, really.)

So even now, that we aren't together anymore, I don't have to fear that she'll get together with Baz.  
First of all, Baz wouldn't be together with someone who doesn't want to be touched. I know that because he make innuendos sometimes. I always try not to blush, but fail. It's a misery. And then Baz told me that he has no interest in Agatha. Some nights, when we both can't sleep, we talk. I know it sounds weird, because we used to be arch-enemies, but it's nice. I always know when he's awake and someone will eventually start talking. About anything. I even told him about that one time Agatha suggested to have our first time and I said no. In the end, she was happy about it. He didn't laugh. He just stared at me and then coughed awkwardly. I saw that he blushed. It was weird.

But as relieved as I am that Agatha is asexual, what does it help when I myself feel the desire to have physical contact with Baz?! Because that's what I do. Everytime I'm near him, I want to touch him „accidentally“ or hold his hand or some shit like that. I nearly told him that maybe I'm not straight one night. He would call me a fag and curse me or something like that. Fuck the anathema. In moments like this I'm happy that I don't have parents I have to come out to. I have no one I have to tell. Except my friends, but you can always find new friends. You can't find a new family though. Maybe that's why Agatha won't come out to hers. She worries that they won't accept her because that means that she'll never produce a new heir. I don't even know if the Wellbeloves have something like this. But I'm sure the Pitches do. Baz mentioned something like that once. 

Nevermind my inner monologue.

 

„There's no girl I could kiss to figure out.“ I say and Trixie nods thoughtfully.   
„I know, since you broke up with that Wellbelove girl, you've been as lonely as the Mage!“  
(The Mage has never had a girlfriend, or at least we never saw one.)  
„Or as lonely as the last Dodo. As lonely as a magician in a Normal bar. As lonely as...“  
„I got it, okay?!“ I snap, instantly regretting it.  
Trixie doesn't seem to be irritated though.   
„I only ever saw you with Penelope or Basilton.“  
I stay silent because I don't know how to answer to that. She's right, I did spent a lot of time with Baz, but only because we're on a truce. Regardless of our nocturnal conversations, we still hate each other. I guess. 

„Do you wanna kiss me? To figure out?“ she asks suddenly.   
„What? Uh, I mean… wouldn't you mind?“ I stutter, taken aback.  
„Oh no, it's fine.“. She grins smudgly.  
„Well then..“ I get up and sit down next to her. I feel embarrassed and awkward, but she still grins and places a hand on my back.   
„Come on Simon, it's just a kiss. It doesn't mean anything. You don't have to if you don't wanna, tho.“  
I take a shuddery breath and shake my head.   
„No, I mean yeah. Just a kiss.“

Trixie moves her head slowly towards mine. Her eyes are already closed and after hesistating for a moment, I give in.  
I lean into the kiss and her soft lips touch mine. I move my chin a bit and she starts kissing back timidly.  
Even though it's a nice kiss, it really is, I don't know what I feel. It's okay, I guess?

After we detach our lips again, Trixie looks at me appreciatively.  
„You are a really good kisser Simon!“   
„Uh… thank you“, I scratch the back of my neck.  
„And? Did you feel anything?“  
I shrug and scoot away a bit. „No, not really. I mean, it was nice I guess but..“  
She laughs and stops me with a wave of her hand.   
„It's okay though. You know, now that I think about it, maybe there were other things that made me realise I'm not exactly straight. Proof that I'm a poof you could say.“  
She giggles and I try not to look as curious as I feel, but Trixie reads me like an open book. 

„I think it's the presence. Y'know, I don't really care when a hot guy's around, but I immediately turn my head if there's a hot gal.“  
Her slang would make Agatha cringe. Maybe Baz too.  
„And… whenever I had a sex-dream, it was about a girl.“  
My cheeks brun because her intimate choice of topic.  
„Soo… oh and I never really had interest in dudes. Thinking about dicks 'n stuff makes me feel uncomfortable, y'know.“  
Trixie grins again. She's constantly grinning. I never see her frowning or pouting or whatever. She just smiles or grins or giggles. Sometimes she bites her lip, but only to hide a grin. The sun's always shining with her. And she really is a cute girl.   
Trixie has short, blond hair, it's actually a pixie cut, which is ironic because she is a pixie. Her eyes are big and brown like chocolate. There are freckles on her small nose and she has a heart-shaped, pink mouth. Also her cheeks seem to be a constant shade of pink. Maybe it's a pixie thing. But I can't be sure because don't know a lot of pixies.   
Actually, I only know one.

I try to think of being intimate with Agatha. She is stunning, so no one would really mind being with her but it feels weird because we broke up a month ago and I just don't love her. I am not even sure if I ever had a crush on her. We aren't really friends anymore and I have to admit that I miss her a bit, but not as much as I thought I would have. I'm just so used to her presence that not going to the Wellbeloves over Christmas break just seems wrong.

„It's just, I don't really know, I mean, like, I like girls, I guess, but I also like boys...“  
Trixie has a look on her face that reminds me of Mrs. Possibelf. She looked at me the same way when I first came to Watford.   
Like I was a helpless puppy. 

„Oh Simon, then maybe you're bisexual. Or pan. Or whatever. You don't have to figure it out right away and you especially don't have to label it. Ever. If you feel better by not naming it then that's totally okay. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I spent a long time unlabeled as well!“  
She smiles and I can't help the heat spreading over my cheeks.  
„Oh, well… thank you Trixie. That really did help me.“  
I smile back at her, because she's nice and friendly and it really did help me.  
„No problem Simon. It was a pleasure.“ she grins smudgly. „Not everyone is able to kiss the Chosen One, am I right?“  
Trixie winks and I must look like a boiled lobster by now.  
„Uh, yeah, I guess.“  
I awkwardly get up and mumble something like: „I'm gonna head back to my room, you know. Curfew and stuff...“.  
She waves at me and I can't help to think that this was a absolutely fucked up conversation and what Baz would say if he knew.  
He never will though.

When I'm nearly out of the door, I stop, turning back.

„Hey, umm, Trixie? Would you mind if you kept this private?“

She laughs, head thrown back, mouth wide open, eyes closed.  
„No, it's okay. I won't tell anyone. Do I look like someone who outs you in front of the whole school although you aren't ready for it?!“

You'd think that she's teasing (her tone is), but again, she isn't. She's just… Trixie.

I smile relieved, thankfully, and quickly set off to Mummers House.

 

Baz

When the door opens and Snow stumbles into our room, I'm laying on my bed, reading a book. I slowly put it down and eye him suspiciously. His hair looks messy, as always, his eyes are wide and I wonder how he's able to look hot considering that he clearly has been running. 

„Snow.“ I simply state and he jumps like he hasn't seen me.  
„OH, uh – Baz. Hi, umm...“  
I ignore his stuttered greetings and get up. It just takes me a few strides till I'm in front of him. I'm still taller than Simon and I know it pisses him off.  
Thanks to my genes incidentally.

„Could you tell me first, where the fuck you were, it's past curfew already.“,  
(Snow never arrives at our dorm after curfew. Maybe he's finally grown responsible or maybe he's just a lame jerkface). 

I snarl at him and he seems to shrink in front of me. He scowls but at the same time, he looks a bit frightened, like he's afraid of me and my demanding tone.

„And second, why you're basically dripping with sodding pixie dust?!“

Crowley.

I don't think I've ever seen Snow blush that deliciously ever before.


End file.
